We must listen when it’s time to GO.

Stick it out. Hang in there. Suck it up.

These colloquialisms can be useful for the occasional adulting boost. A here and there come on now-do the thing you hate doing...pay bills, do your taxes, renew your car tabs.

They can be our refrain through tough seasons that naturally come with the territory and growing pains of marriage, infant years, and professional development, to name a few. When they are said with a full acknowledgment of the big picture context and a deeper knowing that this particular struggle has reward on the other side.

Way way too often though I see my clients applying this rhetoric to keep themselves in toxic, soul sucking, and devaluing circumstances for far too long. Grinning and bearing a toxic boss for years. Hanging in there despite being chronically underpaid. Minimally functioning in untreated depression cuz, bootstraps. Staying in relationships for decades in which they feel unseen, unloved, and desperately lonely. As quitters? Never prosper.

I could not disagree more. I believe knowing when to cut your losses, get the hell out, and move the F on is one of the most important skills in life. These phrases cannot be a WAY OF LIFE. A broad brushstroke minimizing your repeated experience. A automatic internal response every time you have a feeling that says this feels really bad. To override again and again what your gut persistently tells you.

We must become swift and decisive when an occasionally rough situation, relationship or job becomes chronically abusive, diminishing, or is no longer meeting our needs and hasn’t been for a long time. We must listen when it’s time to GO. Enough. Done. No more.

My wish for you is that you take yourself seriously. You are the only one who really truly intimately knows how the circumstance you are in interfaces with all parts of you and the effect it has. You cannot let others advice or reflexive surface level platitudes deter you from making crucial life edits. Trust yourself and draw that line in the sand. Listen to that quiet persistent little voice inside. Have your own back, your limits are and always will be enough of a reason.


Anna Roth